Reflecting on 2023 from a place of kindess

The end of the year is always such a busy time. There are so many things to do and I am going to suggest that you add just one more to your list.  I believe it’s important to take time for reflection.

Let’s face it, the years seem to go faster and faster with each passing one and it’s easy to forget or “misplace” all that you have accomplished in the past year.

Many times when people talk about reflecting back on the past year, they think of it from a place of negativity.  They think that reflection is about what DIDN’T get done, but I encourage you to reflect from a place of positivity. By reflecting on both the things that you did AND did not get done, it will allow you to evaluate what that means.  Is it really something that is important to you?  Do you need to remove that thing from your list or make a new commitment because upon reflection you realize just how important it is?

By reflecting on the past year, it allows you to tap into personal growth. This post is the first of two posts because what would be reflection without a little planning for the coming year (which we will do in the next post)?!

So, let’s get started.  I recommend setting the stage by finding a quiet place, getting a journal or piece of pretty paper, maybe lighting a candle, having a glass of wine or champagne, and put on some quiet music that makes you feel relaxed.

As you set the scene, bring your personal calendar, whether it is a paper calendar or digital calendar and also your phone, or wherever you keep your pictures.  

I suggest starting by going through your calendar and listing anything that you did that had meaning or that felt significant in some way for you.  This will be very personal to each person. Maybe you want to include work accomplishments, maybe you find as you are reviewing your calendar that you NEVER missed one of your kiddos games and that feels worthy of celebrating.  Go through the entire year in this way.  You can sort your list as it feels best to you, but I think that having columns for each part of your life is helpful.  Something like this allows you to sort your accomplishments:

After you have finished going through your calendar, look through your pictures from the past year. This should be fun. Again, add things to the list that you accomplished as you look through those pictures.

Now, the most difficult part of this will be to sit in reflection and think about the things you had planned to accomplish, but didn’t. What were those things? Why were you unable to accomplish them? BE CAREFUL. The goal is not to make yourself feel badly about these things, but to consider why you didn’t accomplish them, what held you back and to evaluate if those things are still important to you. It may be useful here to write each thing down and brain dump your thoughts about it. This will really allow you to be introspective.

A few things to keep in mind as you go through this process:

• Embrace a Growth Mindset: Instead of approaching your reflections with judgement and regret, enter it from a place of growth and learning. Ask yourself these questions:
• What were my biggest learnings this year?
• What challenges did I overcome (big or small), and what did they teach me about myself?
• What are some areas where I want to see growth in the coming year?
• Celebrate ALL the Wins, both Big and Small:  It’s important to acknowledge and appreciate your accomplishments, no matter how insignificant they may be. This helps your self-confidence and motivates you to keep going. Things like:
• Landing your dream job
• Overcoming a personal hurdle
• Learning a new skill
• Simply that you took the time to experience moments of joy and connection
• Living in the moment
• Identify Areas for Improvement:  In which areas would you like to grow?  Here are some ideas:
• Strengthening a relationship
• Setting boundaries
• Improving your health
• Learning a new skill
• Stepping outside of your comfort zone
• Explore Your Core Values:  These are the fundamental principles that guide our decisions and actions.  Reflecting on these will help you as you think about the future.  Things like:
• Gain clarity on what truly is important to you
• Make choices that align with your authentic self
• Identify areas where your actions don’t match your values
• Look Beyond Resolutions:  Resolutions lead to disappointment, many times by the 2nd month of the year.  Instead, set “intentions” for the coming year.  They are more fluid and adaptable and allow you to:
• Focus on the overall direction of your life
• Remain flexible and adjust your approach as needed
• Embrace life’s journey of growth without feeling restricted by rigid goals
• Connect with Your Style:  You knew I would have a style section in here, right?! Consider how your style can truly serve as a reflection of your inner world.  Ask yourself these questions:
• Does my personal style currently reflect who I am?
• What changes could I make to my style to align with my goals for the coming year?
• How can I use style as a tool to empower me to feel confident and express who I am, authentically?